A Night Owl’s Tale

#300 ~Perhaps, the 300th published poem on this blog, WOOSSHH! *BIG GRIN*~

Some days the nights get darker

As she sits down to disambiguate

Reality from her fanciful imagination

Little thoughts prop

And they make her claustrophobic

As suddenly the air vanishes from the room

She clutches hard to things

She hopes will help her hold

But every little thing

Keeps slipping again.

She sees a free-fall coming

And she was always scared of heights

Dyslexic in her own being

Too chaotic to stay tied

She murmurs something incomprehensive

Wonders why such a fate

Will things ever improve?

Or the darkness will explode

So many unsaid words

Random thoughts that grow

Deeper in the abyss

That the world calls insanity

Maybe, she doesn’t belongs

To this land of mortals

Maybe, she is meant

For things that go beyond

They say you’re truly sad

When the soul too cries

For things that never were

Or things that won’t be

Every passing minute

The clock seems to chime

Little girl, wake up

The nightmare will subside

Every morning she wakes

Clutching the pillow too hard

The wrists don’t open

With marks the fingers left

As she screamed silently

When the nightmares made her bleed

One day, she will fly

To lands far and high

Sitting all alone

To the winds, she would chime

Let my wings fly

Don’t chain me here, Lord

Or else teach me dear

How to soothe my mind

Such wild is the mess

That her imagination and reality collides

Unaware what is happening

She sobs again in the night

But ask her if she is okay

And so smartly, she feigns a smile

The world loves the happiness she wears

Unaware that it is the mask that hides

But, God they say, just tests how much you shall try

Because, even God truly loves a happy smile.

Maybe, it is all just a matter of time

Every night, she prays

May things fall in place, tonight

AMEN.

 fall out f love

P.S. I miss writing random poems that sprout from irregular thoughts. I hope, I find what I lack to get the groove that once came so easily to me.

Not the writer’s block, but perhaps there is something lost, trapped in a few lines, not waiting to unveil. :)

Methinks, it shall be back soon :)

Much lovies,

Shade.

People Don’t Die, Just Their Bodies Do!

So many times in life, we go through situations that are largely beyond our control. You think you will get a grip over things, but they fail miserably, don’t they?

At times, you may just sit back and contemplate if your life will ever get back on track again, and you think it won’t because you’ve reached a point of no return, but then God sends in his angel who scoops you up and shines bright in the dead of the night.

It doesn’t really takes a genius to know that the angel I am talking about is Mom. There is so much power in these three letters. Sometimes, just knowing that your mom has got your back is enough to give you the strength to bear the most testing of times.

expert mom
I have had an easy life most of the time, but we all wear masks, don’t we? The happy people mask their sadness beneath, the contented ones may mask their jealousy and you never know what story someone has lived unless they show you their scars.

I have had my share of scars too. It was too complicated to explain and I thought that the pain of the process is going to shred me into pieces, a little more every day until nothing shall remain.

***

They say, when you love someone, it is like cocaine. It gives you a high and you are euphoric and ecstatic and wild, but it is addicting. You don’t realize how deadly love can be, especially if the plugs are plugged one day.

You feel the world has crashed and the whiplash of the mighty tsunami waves drown you, except you don’t die.. You suffocate, you asphyxiate and you still live a death every moment.

I wasn’t myself and every moment felt like a nightmare. I was surrounded by so many memories that it felt eerie to know that the memories are not going to be real. It wasn’t a breakup. It was a loss- the kind of loss where you end up questioning life and what it means!

I had lost my best friend and sometimes your best friend could be even more crucial than the love of your life.

The fact that my best friend had committed suicide was even more unnerving because it shook my very existence. Didn’t it infer that I never mattered enough; that maybe, I had failed as a friend; that maybe, I was responsible somewhere!

There were so many questions eating me up because I loved her, loved her the way you love your friend with whom you’ve spent such a large part of your life.

We were the kind of mates who could converse even without a word spoken! How then did I fail to see the storm that she was fighting inside!

It was all so surreal and everyone knew that while one of us was gone, she had left a live bomb inside me. I was like an explosion waiting to happen.

No, I won’t commit suicide and I was tired of people asking me if I was okay! How could I be okay if my best friend just decided one fine day to leave this world all alone?

expert mom
How could I be okay when every pair of eyes looked at me like I was the next suicide case they were waiting to discuss.
I was tired of people asking me if I was okay when they knew I shall perhaps never be!

Terribly tired owing to long insomniac nights, as I headed to my bed 9 days after her death, I found someone sitting on my bed. I didn’t need lights to know who the person was. Her silhouette was enough.

Mom. I said.

She just nodded and asked me to come near.

My mom was one person who could always see through me. There was a part of me that didn’t understand why she was not comforting me for so long.

Seeing her in my room with eyes that showed love rather than pity, I knew she was giving me the time I needed.
“I won’t ask if you are okay because I know you’re not. However, I also know that you’re not going to do the same mistake as Zikka did.”
Zikka! I have been unable to tell her name out loud. This was a nickname mom gave us and we always used to call each other Zikka.

I had no patience anymore and all the hurt and fear broke down as I bared my heart and spoke about the pain of this loss.

I told her I was tired of seeing people with questioning eyes. I told her I didn’t know why Zikka didn’t trust me before she did something so huge.

My mom simply hugged me and said,

“Someone up there writes our story long before we know what a story means. Of course, we can paint our own stars but sometimes in life, we make wrong decisions and sometimes you end up losing someone you can’t contemplate living without. You will always feel that you can’t bear this loss, but you do. Only love replaces love.
You lost your best friend but think of Zikka’s mom. She lost the child she had nurtured in her womb. Nobody should ever take their life because while they go, they leave a lot of live dynamites who end up dying every day. Your job, dear is to be the daughter Zikka’s mom no longer has. Don’t take the blame upon you. The world works in mysterious ways and your Zikka is forever going to be in your heart and love they say is very powerful. You’re very strong. I know you’ll do it because Zikka wouldn’t want it any other way. Do it for her. Be the daughter to two moms.”

It might not be a lot to you but for me those were the exact words I wanted to hear. The pain in my chest was less. Obviously, it didn’t go away entirely.

At that instant, I knew my mother will always be the expert who could excavate me from the darkest of times. I didn’t even need a counselor. I miss Zikka, I miss her a lot but I know that from up above the sky, she is smiling upon me and wishing she was a little stronger too.

I hope I could have helped Zikka but maybe, some things happen because God has something in mind. Like mom says, life is beautiful; if you make it so.

Yes mom, life is beautiful.

I got the right lesson out of it as today I work as a grief counselor.

Often I dream of Zikka and she just says, “You’re smarter than I gave you credit for. Love you Zikka.”

Expert mom once said, “People don’t die, just their bodies do.”

She is an expert, isn’t she?

I am what I am because of you.

Every mom deserves love, appreciation and a hug. Go give her one, now!

This post is a part of My First Expert Story, hosted by Godrej Rich Creme Hair Colour, an expert in hair colouring At IndiBlogger

All images have been linked to source.

Unsaid!

Every night she looked at the sky and wondered if she ever made someone feel like she was a star that shined during his darkest night.

The silence and solitude she felt in the darkness of night answered her question and in the deluge of her tears, she sang her own lullaby.

In another corner, someone wondered the same and was afraid to say words that showed how much he cared!

unnamed (2)

#3 Line Story

Why My Airtel App Makes Me Go Ga-Ga

Do you have an idea of the number of apps that are launched every day? It seems like app developers are in a competition to outdo the other. This means that the competition levels are getting really fierce and thus it is getting harder every day to come up with apps that will appeal to the mass.

In times of such insane competition, it is My Airtel app that seems to have hit the jackpot point. The reason I say so is because I have had the privilege to use it myself and I must say that I was grinning from ear to ear at the plethora of features which it had to offer. Here, I am going to talk of 3 key features offered by the app which suits my lifestyle and makes me happy that I chose to download it.

Tiny little surprises

I am a big fan of small surprises! Yes, you heard it right. I mean; the pleasure of receiving something totally unexpected and yet amazing is so awesome, right? My Airtel app does just that. Confused? Let me explain it for you. The app makes it a point to offer you little surprise coupons every time you make a recharge. It is like being rewarded for paying your bills! How smart is that! These little surprises come in forms of coupons which in turn can be availed for the sake of shopping on a wide variety of different stores. The shopaholic in me is already singing a happy song!

Pay bills at ease

I do not have a count of the number of times someone asked me to pay their postpaid bill and I have forgotten. I have a terrible memory and more so when it comes to carrying out designated work. The laziness that I have could very well bag a reward for being so lazy! However, when I saw this app; my joy knew no bounds! I no longer need to go to a place to pay the bills. All you need to do is make a few clicks and whoosh, the bill is paid. Seriously this looks like a dream to me. Okay. Maybe it isn’t rocket science but if you are half as lazy as me, you would know why I am so darn excited!

The service never stops

I mean after getting the two reasons above, I really didn’t need any more convincing. However, My Airtel app goes a step further. They have a wide range of other services plugged in. You can check out Airtel broadband services, Wynx, mobile internet, Airtel live and more. I mean, it has everything and anything under one single roof. It would be foolish not to make the most out of this app.

If you too would love to check it out, head to this link right here and explore the world of awesomeness waiting at this app. My Smartphone just got smarter thanks to this app!

Have You App-ed Myntra Yet?

Are you a shopaholic (and it is not permitted to say no!)

Shopping is almost a religion because I believe it de-stresses people. There is a different kind of thrill when you shop your favorite stuff as it releases the negative energy from your system. I still remember how back in the days, I had to haul my parents to take me to my favorite malls which sadly were miles away from my home.

Thanks to the wonderful world of internet, shopping really did revolutionize in these days. Ever since online shopping became popular, my shopping spree has increased vehemently. Now, I no longer need to cajole my parents or sweet talk people to take me to places. All I need is an internet connection and my laptop and a little money to splurge upon things I crave a lot.

However, I always felt like there was something missing when I was shopping online. Shopping requires you to have a personal connection because I used to be one of those who loved the fact that the salesman came up with the right suggestions. I love being offered personally curated contents and being given tips as to what kind of styles would suit me the best.

Hence, I was looking for that extra zing when it comes to online shopping and this came in the form of apps. Recently, Myntra, the shopping giant has decided to go all app from May 15th. I personally believe that it is a really smart move because app way to shop online is certainly the best one could ask for.

myntra

Source

Are you wondering what makes me jump to this conclusion? Hold on! I will explain.

Personally curated items for you!

myntra app

Source 

Now, Myntra app does offer special selections based upon your preferences. They are willing to walk the extra mile just to be sure that you get what you have been looking for. Too often, you find suggestions like, “Hey, we found that you’ve been looking for trousers, we have a list of items specially handpicked for you.”

Now, this is something which really paints the fattest grin on my face. I mean, who doesn’t likes to feel special. So, what are you waiting for? Wear your golden crown today by installing the smart Myntra app.

The Myntra look good magic

myntra

Source 

If you are like me, who needs a little help and a mentor to tell what’s in and what’s not and even the styles that look best upon you, you just can’t miss out on the Myntra look good blog. Trust me, when I say that they have some of the best and the most fantabulous tips and details out there. What’s even better is that you can access all of it right from your app. So, go ahead and download the app and learn the in’s and out’s of how to put your name on the top of the vogue list.

Shopping therapy

myntra

Source 

Shopping is therapy to me. You’re sad- shop. You’re elated-shop. You’re feeling what you don’t know- shop. I mean, shopping fits every mood and equation. The fact that the app allows you to shop from everywhere and nowhere gives it brownie points as you don’t even need your laptop. Simply use your phone, place an order and wham, have a gala time.

I seriously cannot for the love of my life fathom why would someone not want to use the app and miss out on romancing the bliss of ultimate shopping.

I have downloaded my app, when are you courting Myntra by getting your hands on their app?

I would have narrated more reasons but I really can’t stay away from my phone when I have already logged into my Myntra account. The deals just can’t get better.

Shop more, talk soon.

 

The REAL EXPERT! Thanks MUM!

On this mother’s day, I want to extend my thanks to my mom who believed in me when the rest of the world saw me with doubt in their eyes. When I was a title kid and could barely separate red from yellow, it was her meticulous choices that guided me into understanding as to what colour would suit me the most.

I still remember vividly how she dressed me up lovingly for school. I remember how she told me to pick the red dress against the blue one for my 7th birthday and today when I am 25; my favourite colour is red and I really don’t like blue today, I know that the expert in her sensed the beauty  and my choices long before I knew what I really liked.

Life often puts you through a lot of crossroads and often being inexperienced, I didn’t know the way to walk. Being a mess and chaotic confusion, I hardly knew what right thing to do was. However having my mom by my side meant that I never had to do anything alone. She was always there beside me to guide me just when I needed it the most.

I have too many memories with her and some of them are very personal as well. I would not share them here but at the same time, I know what it feels like. Mom is the word that brings a smile to a sullen face. Mom is the word that makes you wonder about the beauty of love. Mom’s love is unconditional. I remember my mom scolding me for my first mistakes and I remember her kissing me again to make up for the tears I had in my face.

I remember my mom cajoling my dad to give me the gift I have wanted and I remember my mom asking me not to pursue unwanted things because it is important to justify the things we do. So, mom for me will always be the special person I can’t do without.

This post is a part of #MyFirstExpertStory in association with Godrej Expert, the expert for hair color.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE BEAUTIFUL LADIES OUT THERE!

River Banks

The two banks of a river

They never meet and yet never separate

Tagging along;

So near, yet always far!

Endless moments entwined together

Incessantly they flow

Making memories which forever stay!

Yet, the more they try

The farther, they drift away

The meandering curves of the river

Turn and toss

And the two banks come a little close

They meet, wink, touch and cross

But, before the moment gathers momentum

The curves widen

And the banks separate

Again apart

Yet, the feelings remain

Sometimes, the river is more than a river

Like two people, touched by love

Separated by Destiny, stars shine

Perhaps, the river does cry

Hoping one day, lovers unite

!waves